Parenting Tips

Worried About Too Much Gaming? It Could be ADHD

Play has changed dramatically over the years—and so have our ideas about what it means to stay connected. For kids and teens, screens are commonplace, and gaming with friends seems to be the new pretend play that used to happen on bikes, in fields, or at the beach. But how much gaming is too much? Are you worried that you or your child is immersed in screens and missing out on other things? There are lots of reasons why gaming might become concerning and all-consuming—and ADHD is one of them. In this article, we’ll cover some basics about gaming and ADHD. Why is ADHD a risk factor for excessive gaming? And can treatment for ADHD help? (Spoiler alert: Yes, it can.) Does ADHD mean more gaming? Research on gaming in children, teens and adults is producing a consistent picture: ADHD is a big risk factor for excessive gaming. So, what does that mean, exactly? It means that when researchers study different levels of gaming in people signed up for research studies, the most intense gamers are the ones who also have symptoms of ADHD. So, if you or your child has ADHD and enjoys gaming, chances are very high that the gaming...

Smart with ADHD: Lessons From Ross Greene

Smart People Don’t Always Get Work Done When it comes to Attention Deficit Disorders and being smart—even gifted—things can be confusing. Smart brains can absorb complex information quickly—and make sense of that information when others can’t. But here’s the confusing part. When work needs to get done—even easy work—smart people can feel unmotivated, deadlines can get missed, and work can go undone.  Does this sound familiar? Think about your own life. Maybe on parent-teacher nights the teacher praises your child’s brilliance and creativity. Then, like every other year, the teacher adds this: “But he needs to take responsibility for his learning” or “she’s not working to her full potential.” Maybe you, too, feel like you’re working in a job that doesn’t capitalize on your tremendous strengths. Is it Boredom and Just Not Wanting to Do the Work? At the Possibilities Clinic in Toronto, parents with smart children often blame boredom—and not wanting to do the work—for procrastination and missed deadlines. “It’s not interesting enough for him. He’s bored.” Why would she finish easy tasks when what she really wants is a challenge? She doesn’t want to do the simple work the teacher gives her.” Explanations like this—blaming boredom or just not wanting to do the work—might apply...

ADD and ADHD in College: Are You Ready?

With summer in full swing, you probably prefer to think about hitting the beach rather than hitting the books. Heading back to high school is one thing, but heading to college or university is something else entirely. Are you ready? It’s exciting to think about new friends, new experiences, and new possibilities. There is so much to be positive about. Being optimistic helps you look forward and dream big!  But your new Psych 101 professor will probably tell you this: the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. So, if you’ve always left your assignments until the last minute, that’s probably going to happen when you hit campus, too. If you’ve lost your wallet, cell phone or keys over and over again, that’s probably going to happen at college, too. If you‘ve struggled to follow your high school teachers—because taking notes and listening at the same time seemed impossible—that’s probably going to happen at university, too. And university or college means new and tougher challenges will be thrown your way, as well. Bigger classes, more reading, more deadlines. Okay. Enough said. You get the idea. If challenges at school are part of your past, they’ll probably be part of your future. And...

Fun (and Functioning) for the Whole Family!

With summer in full swing, you’re probably doing some vacation planning. Maybe you’re seeking “fun for the whole family,” as some venues and theme parks advertise. Not an easy task. How do you plan an experience captivating for your 8-year-old, fun for your preteen, and even entertaining for you and your college-bound young adult? Inherently you know an inclusive experience—one that includes everyone—is key. You are a family, after all.  When thinking about whole-family fun this summer, don’t forget about other things that require a family-focused perspective. You know from experience that when one child is struggling, it can be upsetting—not just for you but for everyone else in your family. Social-emotional functioning can suffer, and so can whole family functioning, if challenges aren’t addressed with an inclusive perspective. Because you are, after all, a family.  When it comes to ADHD, a whole family perspective is also key. If you or your spouse has ADHD, then there’s a 50% chance that one of your children has it, too. And if your 8-year-old child has ADHD, chances are also high that your pre-teen or college-bound kid is heading to high school or university with it, too, threatening mental health and academic success if...

BE ADHD SMART…ABOUT MEMORY

With ADHD, it’s tough to keep a set of instructions in mind until a task is done. That’s because working memory gets overloaded—and distracted—really fast. Working memory is the brain’s juggler. So, if you ask your child to do three things—brush your teeth, put on some socks, and get your knapsack—the juggler tries to hold onto all the pieces at once while it runs upstairs to get the tasks done.   But often those tasks don’t get done. Why?  Because in ADHD the brain’s working memory can juggle only a few things at once, and it often gets distracted. Maybe the juggler is doing just fine holding all three things in mind as it runs upstairs—until it gets bounced off-track by something much more interesting than socks. A toy, a game, a book? Suddenly, the juggler wants to pick up those balls, too. And the toothbrush, socks and knapsack are forgotten, because balls drop when more balls are added.  So, what’s a parent to do? Blogs and books on ADHD will encourage you to do this: 1) look your child in the eye to get your child’s attention, and 2) ask your child to repeat the instructions before heading upstairs. Does this work? Nope. Probably...

Busting the Priority Myth: Stop Prioritizing and Start Succeeding

You want what’s best for your child. You always have. So, when worries arise, your inclination might be to prioritize—to target the problem immediately, and exclusively, before it escalates. In prioritizing, other concerns may become secondary in your mind, relegated to “let’s deal with them later.” Intuitively, prioritizing makes a lot of sense. But it might be working against you. Challenging behaviour? You go to a doctor and seek treatment—and for a while, things settle. Failed exam? You talk to the teacher—and for a while, things settle. Adolescent heartbreak? You enlist a therapist—and for a while, things settle. You prioritize again and again and again, at every turn, at every heartbreak, at every challenge. But development is a moving target, and the priorities keep shifting. You’re exhausted, hopeful, frustrated, confused.  Why aren’t your priorities yielding more success? Maybe because you’re doing just that: prioritizing. And maybe it’s time, once and for all, to bust the Priority Myth. Priorities, listed from highest to lowest and given attention as needs arise, are simply not sufficient for best outcomes. So this notion that priorities are your best bet when it comes to helping your child is a myth.    How do you prioritize when it comes to...

4 Parenting Books: Where to Start and Which One is Best for Your Family?

When babies grow to become toddlers and then preschoolers, new challenges can arise.  Getting children to cooperate when leaving the house, to play nicely with their siblings, and to sit at the table during meals, are examples of such challenges. Parents may be interested in reading about how best to support their child’s emotional development, as well as how to curb tantrums, but it can be hard to know where to start to find these answers.  Below is a review of four popular books.  We hope that one of them best fits your family’s needs. If you would like more information about how best to support your child’s emotional development, please contact me or one of the other clinicians at The Possibilities Clinic.  We would be happy to speak with you and get to know your child and family’s needs. 1. How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King What’s It About? This book shows parents easy-to-use, practical tools for handling children’s emotions, getting through day-to-day tasks, and resolving conflict. It covers specific situations that can be challenging for families with young children, such as dinner time, sleep and resolving conflicts with friends and siblings. Who’s It Written For? The book...

Sensory Diets

When people hear the word “diet” they think about better eating habits and a healthy lifestyle. Similar to food based diets, where one eats specific kinds of foods at specific times of the day, a sensory diet incorporates special activities throughout the day to help a child with sensory, attentional and/ or self-regulation issues manage better. Consider people who shake their legs while sitting at their work stations or university students who exercise as a break from studying- they are engaging in sensory activities to either stay awake or to calm down. Depending on a child’s nervous system and sensory needs, they too may benefit from a sensory diet; a diet of activities and/or equipment used throughout the day to help them function at school and at home.  A sensory diet includes individualized sensory activities that are intended to be used throughout the day to help children focus.  It may include inputs, such as deep pressure (e.g. massage), movement (e.g. jumping), touch (e.g. fidget toy), sound (e.g. music), visual stimulation (e.g. lava lamps), and smell/taste (e.g. peppermint candies), in addition to changes to the environment (e.g. quiet room). A Sensory Diet can assist your child: To manage their attention, organization, and self-regulation To...

Improve Your Child’s Reading Through Direct Instruction

I remember watching all the other kids skip rope. It looked so easy for them, yet no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get the hang of it. I was left feeling frustrated and embarrassed. For children that struggle with reading and writing the feelings of frustration and shame can be just as intense. What’s more, if you have a child that struggles to read or write, you will likely know how difficult it is to get them to practice as they, for good reason, avoid things they find difficult. As a Direct Instruction Tutor my first goal is to see my students succeed and feel confident and motivated. Direct Instruction is a trademark program that works by teaching students all the skills needed to read and write. As students begin to experience success they become less reluctant to tackle reading challenges. Using the programs, along with patience, understanding, games and prizes, struggling readers learn to read. Through Direct Instruction, children will develop the tools to ‘crack the literacy code’. If you are interested in a consultation to see if the program is a good fit for your child, please contact The Possibilities Clinic and we will be happy to assist...

POSSIBILITIES PICK

What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake: A Kid’s Guide to Accepting Imperfection Claire A.B. Freeland, Ph.D. & Jacqueline B. Toner, Ph.D., Authors Janet McDonnell, Illustrator Magination Press, September 2015 Suitable for Ages 6-12 years Link to purchase: https://amzn.to/2JMvoOn When I was a student, I worried about tests—a lot. Ironic, then, that I would spend 20 plus years in school facing the very things I feared: tests, exams, and all forms of academic evaluation. Obviously, I managed (sometimes barely), but things would have been a whole lot easier if this book had existed years ago when even a pop quiz made me quake. What to Do When Mistakes Make You Quake is an excellent resource for children and pre-teens who struggle with evaluation and the possibility of failure. The eighth book in the popular What-to-Do Guides for Kids® series from Magination Press introduces an explorer theme which is pitch perfect in delivery. Adorable illustrations by Janet McDonnell enhance the adventure as children in pith helmets explore thoughts and feelings with maps, knapsacks and binoculars. Authors Freeland and Toner make the point—and they make it well—that mistakes are inevitable when exploring new ground. The characters explain distorted thinking, explaining unhelpful thoughts (e.g. “I missed the goal. I’m a terrible...